My Midlife Crisis -
Mid December I woke up in the middle of the night thinking of my To-Do list for the next day, which, unfortunately for me, happens quite often. So naturally I reached for my paper and pen that I leave next to the bed, and began jotting things down. This led to thoughts of the holidays, which led to thoughts of the New Year, which led to thoughts of my birthday only 4-months away. Yikes.
40. I turn 40 in April. It hit me, like a ton of bricks, that I was turning the BIG Four Oh.
Now, in this #thisis2014 #progressive #Crossfitmom #bootybarremom #momshavingbabiesat37 world we live in, there are many that say 40 is the new 30. Or 40 isn’t what it “used” to be.
Personally, I see it as this: 40 is half way to 80. 40 is midlife. 40 is 40!
Insert: midlife crisis!
At 1:45am, with pen and paper in hand, I started writing down how I and the important people in my life have changed in the last 10 years.
Here is my list:
1. My Kids: It’s obvious, so I started with them first. They have grown from being completely dependent, diaper wearing, germ magnets, cuddle bugs, to kids who can get their own breakfast, tie their own shoes, and navigate technology better than their parents. I love the babies, but I love this age too. I consider this the “sweet spot”. Nobody is in diapers, and no one is driving yet. They still want to be around us and the rolling of the eyes hasn’t quite been perfected, although I know it’s just a matter of time.
2. My Husband: In the last decade, we have bought and sold 2 homes, lived in 3 different cities, and 2 different States, all for his career changes. The growth in his career has been fast and exciting. It has brought both reward and stress to our lives but I have never been more proud of someone for following their passion and working so hard to provide for their family.
That is as far as I got.
How have I changed? How have I grown? If you looked in my closet, you will find clothes that have been there for a decade (I know, I know, let’s save that issue for another blog) and those clothes will tell you that I have grown a lot in the waist, through the hips, etc, etc. Aside from the pounds on the scale and the extra lines around my eyes, how have I grown?
I decided then and there that I was going to challenge myself. I am going to turn the focus on me for a change. I am going to try something new, push back my fear of failure and step out of my comfort zone. I am going to reach out more to the people in my life who haven’t let their fears stop them from setting goals, making plans, and staying committed. Yes, some have failed. Yes, many found success. I am going to stop and listen to their stories of how they too were scared and experienced days when they wanted to give up. I am going to set realistic goals that are both short term and possible to reach. I am going to set goals that are long term and may require mountains to move in order to achieve.
I am going to apply for that job and send in my resume that has a 12 year gap in my work history. I am going to be confident in all 3 interviews and sell them on ME, not a piece of paper full of irrelevant dates and job skills. I am going to get that job.
And I did.
I am going to start that new fitness and nutrition program that I have been thinking about for months. I am going to wake up early every morning to get my work out in and resist the urge to finish those last three chicken nuggets on my child’s plate. I am going to do this for a month and then I am going to do it for another month, and then another, until it is a habit. I am going to run that 5k with my son. I am going to work out with my kids. I am going to inspire others to change their fitness and nutrition habits. I am going to remember every day, that how I feel physically and mentally, directly affects those who I love the most in this world.
And I have.
I am going to turn 40 in April and feel damn good about myself and what I have accomplished not only this last decade, but most importantly in these last 4 months. I am going to have a party to celebrate and reward myself for all my hard work and I am going to wake up the next day and remind myself that there is more work to be done.
And I will.
ATF Blog Contributor: Lynne Fendall